Friday, October 12, 2012


One perfect circle. Three tangent lines. Fourteen random points – not all equidistant, but every one important. Some points would hit my center and intersect my diameter. Some just pass by and would become one of those radii. In my two dimensional planar life, one lone point would strike a chord, inscribing some integral lessons, leaving permanent scars and indentations.

                This is my ode to Pi. And like I promised, I should never lie.

                I was thinking for the perfect set of words to describe how I felt that night – that epic worst night ever. It wasn’t really that worst. I just reacted so bad and I freaked out. I don’t know, I thought I was not in control and you just overwhelmed me (?). Not sure. I thought how someone so meek and so quiet could bash my ego just like that. And I thought that’s it – end of story, goodbye, farewell, au revoir! And it may have sucked then because I thought it could be you. But given how desperate I was then (I am still, FYI) I felt the same for five more people or probably more. It’s a good thing it didn’t work out though. You moved on. I didn’t. I am still the same guy you’ve known two years ago. Only this time I have four eyes and more morphine in my pocket. Everything equal but not the same.

                What really wonders me now is how you make me feel good about me writing these b***shits. No one really cared for my dramas since everyone thinks I am that strong and invincible. But you cared, you listened, you understood. You felt the angst and the twinge I was trying to convey thru my words. You believed I have a gift when, up to now, I still doubt myself if I my posts could even pass for a decent writer. You loved my stories when you don’t even know what, who, when, where and how these things happened. Still, you identify with my odes when people think I was being too sensitive and irrational when writing. And it’s funny how you think that everything I write about in this blog is about you when it’s really just the first time and you somehow (?) forced me to do so. LOL.

                I still see you as “The Chaser” who chased “The Chased” who’s chasing somebody else. But hey, the angles have now been changed and each point already found their own lines. Maybe in a parallel universe, we may have created a connection, our own line segments. But it’s really good to know that your arrow is now heading somewhere else aside from intercepting my rather disrupted ray. As for me, I’ll search for the existence and prove the uniqueness of that one person who’ll stimulate my sleeping cardioid.

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