Saturday, May 9, 2009

25 people (and more) I’ll Remember the Most (Part 1)

This is basically a list of the people, who had influenced me one way or another, whom should I be thankful for, and whom should I blame (!) for making me who I am today. Haha! This is something I’d tried doing eons ago but apparently, it was never finished (until now?).

This part is dedicated to those people who has/had been with me during my SSC days. Next part will be on my UP life and college years.For Pacquiao’s sake, forgive my grammar, Math people hate English, ok? Besides, I never really wanted to be a writer, a journalist, or whoever writes! Warning, this is too long!

1. Mama – She asked me once during my senior year if I would graduate as the class valedictorian. During that moment, I never really knew what would happen so I told her,” Sana, pero wag na lang tayong umasa.” But I knew then that I had a crack at that goal. She never thought I could make it. Until one day, she saw my name on the top of our batch list.

2. Papa – Pap would be home by 6 PM, every Friday, after duty, so I should come home earlier. He would do me some favors i.e. skipping chores if I could come home earlier than Ate Jika would. That’s how Fridays go back then – a race for favor. Also, he allowed me to spend some overnights, watch some concerts and travel to some remote places. My mom never did. Haha!

3. Ate Ines – We shared the same Grad party but I don’t care. She’s the closest to me so i didn’t mind. She handed me her cell phone once because I lost mine. For a couple of times. Am I clumsy or what?

4. Ate Jika – She belonged in the top section in her batch for three straight years. But in her last year in SSC, she was displaced to another section. My mom was pissed, of course. Mama went to Ate’s adviser and tried to talk it over. But to no avail, she stayed in the 2nd section. I was in my 3rd year then. Mama was so pissed off she never really talked to her. And me. I don’t know how I was dragged into the problem but that incident became the turning point of my SSC life. From then on, I knew I needed to prove something. And the rest is history.

5. Sir Regala – Speaking of History, he was my history teacher during my 1st and 3rd year in SSC. He always believed in me. Mon dieu, he basically told the whole school my dilemma on which university I should enroll in. Haha! During the announcement of UPCAT results, he told me,”Kung hindi ka papasa ng UP, ipapasara ko na ang SSC!” This guy really had some serious confidence in me. Thanks sir!

6. Angel – I firmly believe that she was the only one who truly knows me back then. (Meron pa bang iba?) Haha! One simple stare and voila, I knew what she was thinking. I helped her in every possible way I could. And she did the same for me. For some time then (Dyordz vs Stabilo?), she hated me for acting childish. But I never did.

7. Kei – He made me look cool when every thought I am the geekiest kid in town. Haha! I used to sing *ahem* in a band with Kei and that was really one of the few moments people knew I had some singing prowess. I used to sleep over in their house to do our final papers and reports because we (me, kei, lobo) are the only one who takes the project so seriously. I felt really close to his dad then because I used to hang out in their house with our classmates and sing and relax and chill.

8. Kristian – Kamute as we fondly call him. He consoled me during my lowest points, when I was struggling with my acad stuffs and my acadteam stuffs. He always tried to make us smile and fair enough, he did well. We did share some Ateneo memories and Baluga Village treks. Haha! I recently stormed my friendster inbox and saw a message from Mutz and he was saying sorry. I don’t know what happened then and for whatever that is, you’re forgiven.

9. Erin – I am two years her superior but the age gap never really interfered us to get close. We (Ruth and I) started this AcadTeam summer camp which aims to prepare AcadTeam members in their future endeavors. Apparently, Erin was one of those who trusted us and we became instant friends since then. That summer camp was a pivotal point in our SSC life because it provided 3 valedictorians, 2 salutatorians, and countless honor awardees.

10. Zenjie – I was a father to a child a year younger than me. And he followed his father’s foot steps to become another SSC valedictorian. One memory I couldn’t forget was when we conspired to be teammates for a competition. The competition was intended for pairs, not for a team, so Ruth, Steph, moi and Zenjie needed to split up into two groups. We tried to manipulate the random selection but I ended up with Ruth as my partner. Eventually though, we won in that competition.

11. Ruth – We shared some crying times when we slid down in the rankings. She cried when I tried to use and finish our unfinished Research paper onto our Physics class. Being AcadTeam teammates, we tried to defend our right to compete to Sir Wendell but we failed. But we never showed we’re beaten. And I should be thankful to those dramatic moments. But more than the drama that was, we shared the most triumphs I’ve had in my SSC life.

12. Rae – I envied her once because she was most loved by my best friend then. But we remained good friends ever since. Ironically, I felt closer to her more than to my best friend during our senior year. We shared some abortionist hunting experience, plus the effort group’s most effort projects ever! Haha! I really thought this girl (or boy?) helped me achieved some of my personal goals. Alam mo na yun!

13. Mike – My SSC life would never be complete without mentioning Mike. He used to be my closest friend then. He was my shock absorber then, sucking up all the negative energy around me. He was a perfect friend except for one thing. He was way too passive. I acted bullish, he never complained. I did something wrong, he never complained. And the shock absorber thing backfired against me. Kumbaga, quota na ko! And I was sorry for that.

14. Nina – We got along pretty well. She really saved me quite a few times when I spent all my money for food and she’d end up paying for my fare. I always thought she was the “deepest” girl that I ever knew. The deepest insights came from her. She always tells me when I am mean. She was my emotional guard then. And I missed that emotional guard thingy.

15. April- I usually call her Apjoy. She was the first person to approach me and ask my name when we were freshies then. I, mike and Apjoy are best friends then. We would sing “Cry me a river” during breaks in the Math Park. She was my badminton companion. Badminton made us closer. We played Badminton during Intramurals and we won. She was my coach, on and off court. She tells me to relax and have time for myself. She called me desperate once, and I know I was. Haha! We remain good friends up to now.

16. Anthony – Wala lang! We had an epic fight over these words. And the he-bitch in me prevailed so I fought back though I knew it was my fault. But we got over that thing, getting back to our usual selves. Before, as I made a shift from Dyordz to Stabilo, we remained good friends. Now, I’ll admit, we did cheat during quizzes. Everyone does. But we helped each other then. Cheating (in quizzes) was never a good thing, but we believed, it wasn’t that bad either.

17. Steph – She always amazed me with her work and study habits. She taught me how to be principled yet humble and to stand for whatever I believe in. She was my other AcadTeam teammate and we shared some winning moments together. Though she was my closest competitor for the top honors, we never really talked about that thing. We remained good friends throughout our SSC years.

18. Monica – In a place full of Grade Conscious and Overly Competitive individuals, isn’t it great to find a friend loyal and understanding. She always lends her ears whenever I needed someone to talk to. She was my seatmate for three years. We always talk about stuffs and our future plans and our teachers and our classmates. Basically, tsinismis namin kayo! Haha!

19. Mam Mye – She wrote me a letter about me giving up easily. I knew she would understand me well for she was an Ate to me. She was very kind to me and she would be very malambing at times. She once told me she would fail me so that I would not leave SSC. I never really wanted to leave SSC.

20. Mam Amy – She was the other mother I wished I had. Though no one could ever replace my mom, she somehow managed to make me feel so much loved and so great. She always believes in me and I do thank her for doing so.

21. Mam Bognot – She gave strong words so annoying and yet I believed her and I listened to her. I was never the listener type but with Mam Bogs, I managed to survive the whole period without my mind floating somewhere else. There was one time when she almost caught me eating inside the class. I pretended my head is aching while chomping the last bite of cookie I am eating.

22. Joed – He was my Da Vinci mate. I would call him every time I need to go to Angeles. He would go out of his way to wait for me in front of our house cause if not, I would be so late. He would make tsismis about SSC stuffs and I would feed on the info and tell some others as well. Haha! I remembered when we were rejected from watching The Da Vinci Code because it’s an R18 film and we were young then and we would fake our age. We ended up watching X Men III though. Haha!

23. Gail – She would pinch me in my cheeks and would call me baboy but I never got angry to her. Cause I get free food from eating her lunch! Haha! I consider Gail to be one of the nicest friends I had. Bad thing, she never really went out during Saturdays (because of her religion) and she missed all of the Saturday fun! Haha!

24. Tipay – He was my twin brother when I could still catch up with his height. Though he was the bully, he never tried bullying me. We were close then. Ateneo bullying trips? Haha! Had he been a little nicer, he would be as good as I was. Joke! Haha!

25. Cindy – She listened to me every time I am trying to say something. We would go home together with Gail and other Mabalacat people and share some bonding moments together. Once, I felt lonely inside our class because of the decisions I made in the past. And she made me feel I belong in our class.

More people I should be thankful for…

Dennis, Jerome, Mam Elsa, Lobo, Ate Kaye, Eguia, Venny, Gela, Joar, Rhoma, So, Kata, Claud, Mam Leigh, AJ, Suyen, Magju, Janine, Ielle

Friday, April 3, 2009

I don't know what I want..

This is probably the toughest question I’ve ever faced in my entire life, harder than a Math 109 or Math 123.1 final exam.

Harder than any other question I’ve made for Pautakan, and probably the hardest I’ve faced so far.

For once in my life, I don’t know what I want.

I don’t know what could make me happy.

I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where to begin and I don’t know where I should end up.

Really, I think my entire life is pretty messed up right now.

I don’t know where to go. I see no direction in my life, with no path to take, nor a single step to follow.

I’m just stuck.
I don’t think I did what I had to do. I feel like it’s useless to do something I know would not work eventually.

Damn. I just don’t know what I want.

I don’t know what my real purpose is.

I may be over thinking sometimes but hey, that’s what I do the most – THINK!

I really don’t know what happened, what is happening and what will happen.

I need some help. I need some support. I need every bit of luck I could get right now.

I’m hoping for the best.

Damn. Enough of this self pity thing!

I need to catch some sleep. I hope this thing works.

co (

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Do you Consider Yourself a Filipino?

"I think history is inextricably linked to identity.

If you don't know your history, if you don't know your family, who are you?"

Definitely, I am a Filipino.

Brown skinned, rounded eyes, short. Like any pinoy would look like.

More than what I look, I am born and raised in the Philippines, speaks Filipino and Capampangan, understands Ilokano and Zambal.

And if that's not convincing enough, I ate (and continues to eat) rice practically my whole life -arguably, the deciding factor whether a man is Filipino or not.

But what really makes a Filipino? Is it the blood? the heritage? or is it the lifestyle?

What if a French native considers himself a Filipino because he speaks Filipino fluently, would he be a NoyPi?

What if a very rich Pinoy who practically uses English her whole life cannot speak Filipino well, considers herself American, and lived her whole life in USA, would she be a NoyPi?

Wikipedia describes a Filipino as "a citizen of the Philippines and calls himself Pinoy". If i'm going to apply wiki's definition, the French national would then be a Pinoy and the Pinay would not be a Noypi.

But if im going to classify them both, i'll say that the French guy is a naturalized Pinoy and the Pinay will still be a Pinoy no matter what; making both of them Pinoy. The more Pinoys, the merrier di ba?

I asked an online pal in Myspace if she considers herself a Filipino. She answered, "I consider myself as a Filipino more than an american, even though i was born here in the states. The reason for that is because My whole image is as a filipina girl. Doesn't matter what culture i was raised in, (American) Image counts more than anything else. I embrace my culture as well as the american culture because it is who i am! In all accuracy, I am a Filipino American."

For her, it's the image she portrays that makes her a Filipina. I do agree with her, it's in the image AND the outlook which makes a person Filipino. And living your life the "Pinoy Style" would gladly help in doing so.
I also asked my cousin, who particularly lived all his life in the States, if he considers himself a filipino. He answered yes, because he was born a filipino, both his parents are filipino and he somehow lived a filipino life. He's more fluent in Ilocano than in Tagalog though. But at least he still considers himself a filipino..

I saw Neni Sta. Romana-Cruz' You know You're Filipino in this posh bookstore and immediately, it caught my elusive attention. It's a compilation of forwarded e-mails of traits which makes Filipinos stand out in a crowd. Composed of eleven categories, it's as if a checklist you have to answer and depending on how many traits you have, you get a score on how truly a Filipino you are.

I'll list some of them, which i know applies to you, me and any typical Filipino in this world.

Family Matters

Your middle name is your mother’s maiden name.

Your parents call each other “Mommy” and “Daddy.”

You have uncles and aunts named Boy, Girlie, or Baby.

You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables, such as, Jun-Jun, Ling-Ling, and Mon-Mon.
You call the parents of your friends and your own parent’s friends “Tito” and “Tita”.

You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.

The prospect of sending your elderly parents to a nursing home is inconceivable.

You abide by your parents’ house rules even if you are over 18.

You live with your parents until-and at times even after-you’re married.

You think nothing about hosting a houseful of balikbayan relatives for weeks on end-and can still smile about it.

You demand that your children sing and dance to amuse your friends and relatives.

Where we live

You decorate your living room wall with your family’s framed diplomas and certificates and plaques.

On your living room wall you display a shield bearing “The weapons of Moroland” alongside a giant wooden rosary and wooden tinikling dancers or Ifugao heads.

You decorate your dining room wall with a giant wooden spoon and fork and a picture of the Last Supper.

You keep a Sto. Nino shrine in your living room.

You keep a statue of a big, fat, laughing Buddha-with those pesky little kids crawling all over him-for good luck.

Your house has a “dirty” kitchen and a “clean” kitchen.

You recycle plastic shopping bags as garbage bags.

You use a bolo to cut grass in the yard.

You keep a tabo in your bathroom.

You used a halved coconut husk to polish the floor.

Health and Hygiene

You prescribe a ginger brew and a salt mouthwash to treat sore throats.

You use Vicks Vapor Rub as an insect repellant.

The way we eat

You eat with your hands.

You think a meal is not a meal without rice.

You use your fingers to measure the water you need to cook rice.

You can’t eat a meal without using a spoon with your fork.

You don’t need a knife to cut your food.

You think sandwiches are snacks, not meals.

These are Filipino BBQ. These are grilled and sold in the streets. These are dipped in vinegar before these are eaten.

Addidas – chicken feet
PAL – chicken wings
IUD – chicken intestines
Helmet – chicken heads
Betamax – chicken blood
Walkman – pig’s ear
You recycle bottles into water containers and store these in the fridge.

Your pantry is never without Spam, Vienna sausage, corned beef, and sardines.

You love to eat what others mistakenly refer to as “rotting fish.”

You prop up your knee while eating.

You can’t enjoy a meal without patis, toyo, vinegar, banana ketchup, or bagoong.

You eat fried chicken with ketchup and unripe fruit with giant salt crystals.

You eat fried Spam and hot dos with rice.

You like sweet spaghetti.

You like “dirty” ice cream.

You eat purple yam ice cream.

The way we drive

You hang your left arm out the window and wave your hand to signal a left turn.

You hang a rosary on your car’s rear view mirror.

You can squeeze 15 passengers into your five-seater car without a second thought.

The way we pray

You spend Holy Week either performing acts of penitence or vacationing.
You get together with family at a cemetery on All Saint’s Day to eat, drink, and tell stories by your loved ones’ graves.

You can crack jokes, play cards or mahjong, and drink beer at funeral wakes and not feel irreverent.

You think the Christmas season begins in September and ends in January.

Christmas isn’t Christmas without a parol and a belen.

There are at least 50 people on your Christmas gift list.

You unwrap Christmas presents so carefully, so you can reuse the wrappers and bows for next year.
You touch your chin with your thumb every time you make the sign of the cross.

You make the sign of the cross every time you pass a church.

The way we travel

Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.

You collect items from airlines, hotels, and restaurants as “souvenirs.”

You feel compelled to give “pasalubong” to all your friends and relatives each time you return from a trip.

The way we shop

You can’t make a purchase without haggling.

It’s an absolute must to go to duty-free shopping even when you’ve come home with several balikbayan boxes.
You use paper foot outlines when buying shoes for friends and relatives.

Pinoy body language

You point with your lips.

You scratch your head when you don’t know the answer.

You smile all the time for no reason at all.You ask for the bill at a restaurant by making a rectangle in the air.

The way we speak

You can use ambiguous words like “kwan” and “ano” and yet be perfectly understood by another Filipinos.

You love to use the following acronyms:

CR for comfort room
DI for dance instructor
DOM for dirty old man
TNT for tago ng tago
KJ for kill joy
KSP for kulang sa pansin
OA for over reacting
MU for mutual understanding
TL for true love
BF for boyfriend
GF for girlfriend

You say “Uy!” or “Aray!” instead of “Oops!”

Instead of “I beg your pardon?” you say “Ha?”

You refer to power interruptions as “brownouts.”

You “open” or “close” the lights.

The way we are
You’re always late.

You cope with serious situation by turning it into a humorous one.

You’ll go into debt for a celebration.

You like everything imported.

You always prefer to sit in the shade than bask in the sun.

You use an umbrella in fair or foul weather.

You love ballroom dancing and karaoke.

You hang your clothes out to dry.

You love to laugh at yourself and at others.

After that long list, i have some more from another source.

Most Filipino women / young women own a LOT of shoes! They will also never wear more than half of them again.
Cokes are reserved for visitors to your house.
Your mother / grandmother's most precious item is her sewing machine.
You buy 25 lb. bags or rice and gallon jugs of soy sauce.

Trying to explain to people why Philippines starts with "Ph" and Filipino starts with "F".

Your grandparents leave the TV on even when nobody watches it.

The exact same artificial christmas tree with the same ornaments, year after year.

Your parents try to get you to go on a date with a child of one their friends.

And some more...
You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.

Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

You have never used your dishwasher.

You eat all meals in the kitchen.

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.

You always leave your shoes at the door.

You have a piano in your living room.

You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).

You twirl your pen around your fingers.

You hate to waste food....

(a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
(b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
You don't own any real Tupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.

You never order room service.

You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.

When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.

You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and hey they refer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.

Your parents' house is always cold.

You reuse teabags.

Your mom drives her Mercedes to the Price Club.

You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.

You only make long distance calls after 11 pm.

You have acquired a taste for bittermelon (ampalaya).

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached-it means they're fresh.

You always cook too much.

If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

You e-mail your friends at work, even though you are only 10 feet apart.

Your parents send money to their relatives in the Philippines.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.

Your parents are never happy with your grades.

You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.

You keep used batteries.

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

Your relatives either work in medicine or real estate.

OK, enough of that listing. The important thing is we know, we Filipinos are unique and we (and our peculiar traits) stand out in crowds, no matter what.

Then, what defines a Filipino?

Blood. Culture. Outlook. Lifestyle.

But more than what defines a Pinoy, it's more important to be proud of your heritage and live your life - Pinoy Style.

This is one of my journal entries submitted to Mr. Cardenas' class in Sociology 10.. I posted it somewhere and apparently, I got some few good reviews from other bloggers.. So I might as well post it inmy personal blog.. Enjoy!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Nation of Servants?

The War At Home
March 27th, 2009

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.


So what was this Chip Tsao thinking? Is it just plain satirical or a big blow on our nation's sovereignity and power?

I do think we should take this thing seriously. This Chip Tsao is speaking of OUR Filipino workers, OUR countrymen, and perhaps OUR relatives. He correlates this "Filipino Diasporra" to our never-ending claim of the oil-rich Spratly's Island.

To put simply, he said WE are INCAPABLE of governing our own country and any additional land area such as the Spratly's would be a burden so we might as well abandon our claims. And that is an insult to us as a nation!

True, our government cannot provide enough works for us. True, we have to go to a foreign country to look for greener pastures. True, we are wiping some other people's ass to earn some breads.

BUT we are not parasiting on those foreigners! We are working our butts off to feed our families three times a day. We are doing things sometimes, nasty and dirty, but hey, we earn our money honestly.

WE are NOT superior to the chinese people. That's true! BUT WE are NOT inferior though!

We are not heavily dependent on China and HongKong. They are not our MASTERS (and will never be our masters!) and WE are not SLAVES. They are simply just THE employers!

Summoning your helper? Giveing her a harsh lecture? WTF! Is this guy a GOD from heaven? This bitch don't deserve our help! HE doesn't deserved to be treated nicely! To be patriotic is one thing, but to be INSULTING is another.

Let's go back to our history, the PHILIPPINE history. During the Spanish era, Chinese immigrants and the Indios are no different. They received the same harsh treatment from the Mestizos, the same beating from the Guardia Civil and the same status symbol form the Principalia. The Indios are sometimes more respected than their Chinese counterparts because the Indios are sometimes baptized while the Chinese are not. To be a Chinese before was a bigger insult than to be an Indio..

Fast Forward.. We are indeed imposing a cheap-labor policy so that we can be hired and the investor's will thrive our nation. BUT who are we up to? who are the investors pitting us against? CHINA!

I am not saying that the FILIPINOs are greater and nobler than the Chinese people. But I am proud that we have humbler roots than those proud chinese who look at themselves as gods and goddesses.

WE are NOT and will never be perfect as a race. We are not the richest of the rich, the highly industrialized people, the influential power to the world. BUT we are not a nation of servants!

WE are ASKING for RESPECT because we respect other countries, too. We are not waging war because we have some serious problems too. We just need RESPECT, no more no less.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Iskul Politiks

"Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change."

At ito talaga yung unang entry ng blog ko. Siyempre, last week lang kasi , nagkaroon ng AguElections.
Ayun, nag ambisyon ang lolo niyo na tumakbo sa pagka Externals Vice-President pero natalo ang cheeks ko. Sayang! Sayang hindi dahil sa hindi ako nanalo pero nanghihinayang ako sa opportunity to bring change sa system ng Externals Committee. I have this wondeful vision na mababago ko kahit papano yung takbo ng pamamalakad sa ExteComm pero apparently, I was not good enough sa mga AguPips.

Pero really, was I surprised na natalo ako? YES! Oui! Oo! Wa naman!

I really expected to win this time. Masyado akong nag expect kaya yun feeler ako. Feeling ko I deserve the position naman and I'm proud to say na I feel like I fit the job really well. Feeling I deserve it is one thing but proving to others I deserve it is another. And I think I failed to impress them. Ok lang naman. After all, losing the school(this time org) elections is nothing new to me.
Noong high school ako, thrice (read: THRICE as is THREE TIMES) akong tumakbo sa Student Council namin. And sa tatlong beses na yun, di ako nanalo. Sad! I was really a sore loser noon. I think I was never the popular guy kasi noon e. People knew me as the chubby guy na nerd na magaling sa math. Yun na. So they question the leader in me.. But I proved them wrong! Naku, ang lolo niyo, naging officer na ata sa lahat ng Club sa SSC noon. Kung ano ano na nga e, kaya di ko na maalala yung iba.

Come college, first year ako sa UP Aguman noon, tumakbo ako bilang Educational Committee Chairperson. I was up against Buduy, the ultimate Pautakan baby. Di ko alam kung bakit ganun yung results pero sabi ng electoral board, I won anyways. Feeling ko noon, naawa na sila sa akin dahil never akong nanalo sa SC. Haha!

I was part of the 07-08 ExeComm, ang ExeComm na nag introduce ng Mutya ning Aguman, Mibalik Tambayan at pinalakas ang Alumni Relations. Though relatively, I can say na maganda naman yung rapport namin, marami pa rin naging problema. Much more problems pala sa attitude ko, yun yung nashock ako. I was forced to be matured. I was very tamad na pala and I thought na I'm always right. I never really cared for the people who helped me win my position. I thought I was doing great, but actually, feeling ko lang pala ulit yun. I delivered some but not all of my promises. I disappointed others who looked up to me as their head. Kinain ako ng position ko. I was really really overwhelmed!

Pero I took the blame and all the criticisms. Though masakit, kinaya ko. Though feeling ko unfair na, inabsorbed ko lahat. And that experience really helped me a lot. Naging critical ako sa mga sinasabi ko. Naging maingat ako sa actions ko. Though talagang minsan masama ugali ko, tinry kong magpakabait. And the following year showed me the realities of being a member.
Though I was nominated for quite a few positions, di ako humabol. Feeling ko, kailangan kong maranasan maging member muna para maintindihan ko lahat. And yun nga, naging member ako.

Marami akong gustong gawin as an officer na hindi mo magagawa kung member ka. Of this, past officers would agree with me. Namiss ko yung position in general, yung meetings with the Alumni, yung ExeComm meeting and even yung mga GenMeets. Hindi ako nagpakita sa mga GenMeets. I am quite known for my excessive talking and being too opinionated e. So feeling ko, now that I'm not an officer na, maybe chance na nila na gawin yung gusto nila without me interferring or commenting. And maybe, jsut maybe, I need a break na rin.

This decision, however, is very very crucial for my bid in this year's AguElections. Though naging active ako sa mga events, feeling ko, kulang pa rin. Pero I have no regrets sa decision kong ito. It served its purpose naman sa akin e.

And so, I lost. I took it well naman e, with a little sourgraping and bitter bitteran which is natural naman. Ok naman na sana e. Pero ang naging masaklap lang, marami akong politikahang narinig against me. I dont wanna enumerate those stuffs dahil ayokong patulan yung mudslinging. Ayoko na rin na humaba pa ito.

But what really went wrong?
Noong naisip ko na tumakbo, ang isip ko nasa "service" for the org and not for the resume. I never really said anything bad naman against any other candidate. Naging extra careful naman ako sa mga words ko and pinaproofread ko pa nga yung SPOA ko para lang di siya magmukhang mayabang at feeler. Pero still, talo pa rin. Haha!
Iniisip ko na nga lang na I played my cards too safe and I never took some risks. Kumbaga sa pusoy dos, nasa akin lahat ng dos pero di ko nilaro! "Memakbung la!", as the AguPips would describe it.
Maybe it's not my year yet, tutal mag stay pa naman ako sa UP for a couple of years. Siguro I just have to be more active and prove them all na I can do it.
Sa lahat ng bumoto, thanks! Alam niyo na yun. Sorry, pero next time na lang ulit. Thanks for knowing what's had to be known.
Sa lahat ng hindi bumoto sakin, mukha niyo! Joke! Ok lang. Hintayin niyo ko next year cause I'll win your votes na talaga.
So what's next for me?
Plano kong maging mas active na member, and if may chance, run for VP for Educ sa Sanlahi. Tutal naging EducChair naman na ko. I just want them to show how a quizshow really works! Haha!
Ayun, sa mga nanalo, goodluck! i'm looking forward for a good year ahead. Walang magreresign ha. Support lang kami dito. Yun, be as rational as you can, work and decide beyond the friendship and the batch. Galingan niyo. Maraming mga matang titingin at kikilatis sa inyo! No Pressure! Haha! Bonne Courage!
Goodluck! Bwahahahahahaha!
Para naman sa mga di pa alam ang kapalaran (president and secretary) , galingan niyo! Walang pikunan ha? Tsaka dont be demoralized sa mga results! Kaya yan!
Final thoughts: I promise you that, as a member, the CHEEKS will still SPEAK, not for his own good but for this organization's welfare!
- Gerard De Padua -
Lakatan 06-A
I remain not for myself alone

stuffs bout myself and some of other people's secrets!