I thought it was you. After all the drama and hardships we’ve been through, I was secretly hoping it would be you. But you chose not to see me that way. You never gave me a chance. You thought I am just a friend for keeps. I am but I thought I was special to you. I was willing to do what I was avoiding for the longest time but to no avail, I never stood a chance for your love. I understand. You explained to me that what we have has been so valuable that you would rather not commit the same mistake you did before. Damn that mistake. But I respect you so much that I’d rather not force the issue. And you’re still the best thing that ever happened to me this summer. And I wish I was the same too.
You were so nice, so great and so appreciative of what I have. You never looked at me as some random average guy whose talent is rather miniscule. You uplift my dwindling self-esteem. When I thought I was at the rock bottom of an incomprehensible schema, you thought I was the star of your universe. You were there for me even when I thought no one’s behind me. And I wish I could be that one for you too. I wish I could love you like you do to me. I felt the authenticity in your emotions and that overwhelms me. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want to rush things either. So we have to let things fall in to their places and see where they may lead us.
The “Friendly Friend”
I knew who you are. I so knew you. Even with your eyes covered with that big black slab, I so knew you. I don’t know why but I remembered everything about you and that moment we first met. My mind never fails to impress me. So it stored a memory of someone I don’t really know and perhaps would never really know until that night. So you would be my friend (a very good one at that). I don’t know much about you but I felt like I’ve known you for so long that we shared stories no other friend knows. And it will continue forever. I hope so since you owe me a piece of your life.
The “Ungrateful Friend”
Should I say anything about you? Shut the hell up. Just because I could not reply faster than you are does not mean I couldn’t type properly. I have been very friendly to you. I don’t know why you are acting up. So shut up and go find someone else.
I was looking for you for the longest time. I was looking for you when I paid my tuition fee. It was here, the same room, the same queue I saw you smiling at me, asking me about my subjects. And right then, I wish we could talk and spend a lot more time together not just flashes of time I could not even fathom. I wish we could visit our teacher’s office together. I wish we could be more than friends. And how I wish you would know I am thinking and writing about you all the time.