At ito talaga yung unang entry ng blog ko. Siyempre, last week lang kasi , nagkaroon ng AguElections.
Ayun, nag ambisyon ang lolo niyo na tumakbo sa pagka Externals Vice-President pero natalo ang cheeks ko. Sayang! Sayang hindi dahil sa hindi ako nanalo pero nanghihinayang ako sa opportunity to bring change sa system ng Externals Committee. I have this wondeful vision na mababago ko kahit papano yung takbo ng pamamalakad sa ExteComm pero apparently, I was not good enough sa mga AguPips.
Pero really, was I surprised na natalo ako? YES! Oui! Oo! Wa naman!
I really expected to win this time. Masyado akong nag expect kaya yun feeler ako. Feeling ko I deserve the position naman and I'm proud to say na I feel like I fit the job really well. Feeling I deserve it is one thing but proving to others I deserve it is another. And I think I failed to impress them. Ok lang naman. After all, losing the school(this time org) elections is nothing new to me.
Noong high school ako, thrice (read: THRICE as is THREE TIMES) akong tumakbo sa Student Council namin. And sa tatlong beses na yun, di ako nanalo. Sad! I was really a sore loser noon. I think I was never the popular guy kasi noon e. People knew me as the chubby guy na nerd na magaling sa math. Yun na. So they question the leader in me.. But I proved them wrong! Naku, ang lolo niyo, naging officer na ata sa lahat ng Club sa SSC noon. Kung ano ano na nga e, kaya di ko na maalala yung iba.
Come college, first year ako sa UP Aguman noon, tumakbo ako bilang Educational Committee Chairperson. I was up against Buduy, the ultimate Pautakan baby. Di ko alam kung bakit ganun yung results pero sabi ng electoral board, I won anyways. Feeling ko noon, naawa na sila sa akin dahil never akong nanalo sa SC. Haha!
I was part of the 07-08 ExeComm, ang ExeComm na nag introduce ng Mutya ning Aguman, Mibalik Tambayan at pinalakas ang Alumni Relations. Though relatively, I can say na maganda naman yung rapport namin, marami pa rin naging problema. Much more problems pala sa attitude ko, yun yung nashock ako. I was forced to be matured. I was very tamad na pala and I thought na I'm always right. I never really cared for the people who helped me win my position. I thought I was doing great, but actually, feeling ko lang pala ulit yun. I delivered some but not all of my promises. I disappointed others who looked up to me as their head. Kinain ako ng position ko. I was really really overwhelmed!
Pero I took the blame and all the criticisms. Though masakit, kinaya ko. Though feeling ko unfair na, inabsorbed ko lahat. And that experience really helped me a lot. Naging critical ako sa mga sinasabi ko. Naging maingat ako sa actions ko. Though talagang minsan masama ugali ko, tinry kong magpakabait. And the following year showed me the realities of being a member.
Though I was nominated for quite a few positions, di ako humabol. Feeling ko, kailangan kong maranasan maging member muna para maintindihan ko lahat. And yun nga, naging member ako.
Marami akong gustong gawin as an officer na hindi mo magagawa kung member ka. Of this, past officers would agree with me. Namiss ko yung position in general, yung meetings with the Alumni, yung ExeComm meeting and even yung mga GenMeets. Hindi ako nagpakita sa mga GenMeets. I am quite known for my excessive talking and being too opinionated e. So feeling ko, now that I'm not an officer na, maybe chance na nila na gawin yung gusto nila without me interferring or commenting. And maybe, jsut maybe, I need a break na rin.
This decision, however, is very very crucial for my bid in this year's AguElections. Though naging active ako sa mga events, feeling ko, kulang pa rin. Pero I have no regrets sa decision kong ito. It served its purpose naman sa akin e.
And so, I lost. I took it well naman e, with a little sourgraping and bitter bitteran which is natural naman. Ok naman na sana e. Pero ang naging masaklap lang, marami akong politikahang narinig against me. I dont wanna enumerate those stuffs dahil ayokong patulan yung mudslinging. Ayoko na rin na humaba pa ito.
But what really went wrong?
Noong naisip ko na tumakbo, ang isip ko nasa "service" for the org and not for the resume. I never really said anything bad naman against any other candidate. Naging extra careful naman ako sa mga words ko and pinaproofread ko pa nga yung SPOA ko para lang di siya magmukhang mayabang at feeler. Pero still, talo pa rin. Haha!
Iniisip ko na nga lang na I played my cards too safe and I never took some risks. Kumbaga sa pusoy dos, nasa akin lahat ng dos pero di ko nilaro! "Memakbung la!", as the AguPips would describe it.
Maybe it's not my year yet, tutal mag stay pa naman ako sa UP for a couple of years. Siguro I just have to be more active and prove them all na I can do it.
Sa lahat ng bumoto, thanks! Alam niyo na yun. Sorry, pero next time na lang ulit. Thanks for knowing what's had to be known.
Sa lahat ng hindi bumoto sakin, mukha niyo! Joke! Ok lang. Hintayin niyo ko next year cause I'll win your votes na talaga.
So what's next for me?
Plano kong maging mas active na member, and if may chance, run for VP for Educ sa Sanlahi. Tutal naging EducChair naman na ko. I just want them to show how a quizshow really works! Haha!
Ayun, sa mga nanalo, goodluck! i'm looking forward for a good year ahead. Walang magreresign ha. Support lang kami dito. Yun, be as rational as you can, work and decide beyond the friendship and the batch. Galingan niyo. Maraming mga matang titingin at kikilatis sa inyo! No Pressure! Haha! Bonne Courage!
Para naman sa mga di pa alam ang kapalaran (president and secretary) , galingan niyo! Walang pikunan ha? Tsaka dont be demoralized sa mga results! Kaya yan!
Final thoughts: I promise you that, as a member, the CHEEKS will still SPEAK, not for his own good but for this organization's welfare!
- Gerard De Padua -
I remain not for myself alone