Saturday, September 4, 2010

An Open Letter to Her

It’s been weeks since I last talked to you. The last I remembered was a chat on Facebook I was supposed to ignore. Or is it weeks? Months, more so, I guess. It’s amazing to note that such span of time, when we can’t forge a day without talking to each other when we were so much together. But what the heck, everything’s done and so are we.

Well, for a guy who thinks he has something to say to everything, I was mute about our supposedly “break-up”. Yeah, I had talked to a bunch of people about my sentiments yet I haven’t issued any press release or official statement about all of the drama that is “us”. But don’t worry; I will not bother talking about details of our “break-up” here. I just want to reconnect with you through this.

In the 11th, I’ll turn 21, a year older, and/or wiser. Remember how excited we were to plan your 18th and my 21st birthday? I was ecstatic then since we get to spend our debut both in the same year. But things have changed and the course of our relationship turned into a dead end.

I am turning 21 and yet I am acting as if I am a brat- not talking to you, nor even looking at you. I am trying my hardest to ignore you and convince myself that you’re just an entity there of whom I should not be concerned. Sigh. I guess, we both knew how painful it is to do so.

Well, what the heck. I am lost for words right now. How will I say this? You hurt me. You hurt me so much that I am doing this to you. You hurt me so much that I acted bitter and resentful. I was so hurt that I had to reassess myself and see my worth as a man. You hurt me. But I may have hurt you too.

I decided to end our relationship then just because I thought I am fed up with you and your immaturity. I was immature, too, you see? I was more concerned of myself then that I never listened to your explanations. Had I been more open-minded, I could have forgiven you. But, shockingly, I must admit I never regret making that decision. All of the things I’ve seen and heard I decided that it was better to salvage the respect and friendship left between us.
I would like to be believe that what we had was love. But we can’t live on love alone. You know that well enough, too. But why am I even writing this letter?

I missed those texts and the concern and all. I am thankful for that. But I am not going to beg for those once more. It’s time you give that to him. I heard you’re doing fine with him, steady and ready. I am happy for you, seriously. Oita. Ala mu.