It’s been weeks since I last talked to you. The last I remembered was a chat on Facebook I was supposed to ignore. Or is it weeks? Months, more so, I guess. It’s amazing to note that such span of time, when we can’t forge a day without talking to each other when we were so much together. But what the heck, everything’s done and so are we.
Well, for a guy who thinks he has something to say to everything, I was mute about our supposedly “break-up”. Yeah, I had talked to a bunch of people about my sentiments yet I haven’t issued any press release or official statement about all of the drama that is “us”. But don’t worry; I will not bother talking about details of our “break-up” here. I just want to reconnect with you through this.
In the 11th, I’ll turn 21, a year older, and/or wiser. Remember how excited we were to plan your 18th and my 21st birthday? I was ecstatic then since we get to spend our debut both in the same year. But things have changed and the course of our relationship turned into a dead end.
I am turning 21 and yet I am acting as if I am a brat- not talking to you, nor even looking at you. I am trying my hardest to ignore you and convince myself that you’re just an entity there of whom I should not be concerned. Sigh. I guess, we both knew how painful it is to do so.
Well, what the heck. I am lost for words right now. How will I say this? You hurt me. You hurt me so much that I am doing this to you. You hurt me so much that I acted bitter and resentful. I was so hurt that I had to reassess myself and see my worth as a man. You hurt me. But I may have hurt you too.
I decided to end our relationship then just because I thought I am fed up with you and your immaturity. I was immature, too, you see? I was more concerned of myself then that I never listened to your explanations. Had I been more open-minded, I could have forgiven you. But, shockingly, I must admit I never regret making that decision. All of the things I’ve seen and heard I decided that it was better to salvage the respect and friendship left between us.
I would like to be believe that what we had was love. But we can’t live on love alone. You know that well enough, too. But why am I even writing this letter?
I missed those texts and the concern and all. I am thankful for that. But I am not going to beg for those once more. It’s time you give that to him. I heard you’re doing fine with him, steady and ready. I am happy for you, seriously. Oita. Ala mu.
whenever i see you, you seem so happy and all. i guess this post proves that the face we put on doesn't always reflect what we feel inside. hope everything turns out alright.
ReplyDeleteI am not called "plastic" for nothing, nic. haha.
ReplyDeleteNyahaha! With all the English English, "Oita, ala mu" ing ending. Haha! Metula ku.
ReplyDeleteGboi, maturity is something we adults have to constantly work on. More than 4 years since my own debut, I'm still struggling, haha. What makes it harder is that more often than not, it's not a question of whether we know the right thing to do or not, it's more like do we want to do the right thing? Haha!
But you will be amazed at how fast you can 'grow'. You'll know this when you start to notice 'younger' kids doing what you normally do, and you'd be annoyed and say, "Dana, real mature!" Hahaha!
About her naman, hmmm. Tell her this personally, if you haven't yet. You owe her that, at the very least. Not to mention na mas 'mature' na paralan ita. :D
Yak, blog post ito? Haha!
haha. Abasa na ne ini for sure. well, it took time for me to say these stuffs. Siyempre medyo masakit din ing milyari. Haha! Basta! Maging ok kami rin.
ReplyDelete